Seasons Beatings: Surviving Family and Finding Meaning During the Holidays
The holidays have a way of bringing family together—but not always in the most peaceful way. As much as we love the people closest to us, spending extended time with family can be challenging. Old grudges resurface, miscommunications flare up, and everyone seems to revert to old roles—whether they like it or not. And yet, beneath the mess, these gatherings often lead to moments of healing, understanding, and growth.
Hollywood has explored this theme time and time again. Below are three films that capture the highs and lows of family dynamics during the holiday season—showing us that even though family can drive us crazy, it’s usually worth sticking it out.
Credit: Touchstone
1. The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
Why it Hurts: Coming home isn’t always a joyful reunion—especially for the Tenenbaums. This eccentric family is dragged back under one roof when their estranged father, Royal (Gene Hackman), pretends he’s dying to reconnect with his children. What follows is a chaotic mix of old grudges, sibling rivalries, and midlife crises.
Why it’s Worth It: The Tenenbaums are a family of brilliant but broken people, each struggling with their own demons. Their dysfunction is both tragic and hilarious, but through the mess, moments of tenderness shine through. Royal’s attempts to reconnect with his children may be selfish and clumsy, but his flawed efforts lead to unexpected reconciliation.
Takeaway: Like many family gatherings, the Tenenbaums’ reunion is messy and awkward—but there’s beauty in the attempt. Family doesn’t have to be perfect to matter, and even small efforts to reconnect can have a lasting impact.
2. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (1987)
Why it Hurts: Traveling home for the holidays is already stressful, and Neal (Steve Martin) is having the worst trip imaginable. Between flight delays, lost luggage, and a series of unfortunate events, he’s stuck with the overly friendly (and endlessly irritating) Del (John Candy) as his unlikely travel companion.
Why it’s Worth It: What starts as a journey of mutual frustration turns into a touching story of unexpected friendship. Neal learns to embrace the chaos, and Del reveals the loneliness hiding beneath his upbeat demeanor. The film reminds us that kindness and connection can emerge from the most frustrating circumstances.
Takeaway: The holidays are about more than just getting where you need to go—they’re about the people you meet along the way. Even the most annoying moments can become meaningful when we let our guard down.
Credit: Paramount Pictures
Credit: Lionsgate
3. Knives Out (2019)
Why it Hurts: Family gatherings can feel like a battleground, especially when unresolved tensions simmer just beneath the surface. In Knives Out, things boil over after the death of the family’s wealthy patriarch, Harlan Thrombey. The Thrombey clan’s greed and self-interest come to light, and their bickering turns deadly (or at least deeply dysfunctional).
Why it’s Worth It: Though it isn’t a holiday movie, Knives Out perfectly captures the chaotic energy of a family gathering gone wrong. Yet, even amid the backstabbing and betrayals, there are surprising moments of loyalty and love. The film shows that family can be complicated and messy, but it’s worth trying to find connection—even if you have to navigate a bit of mystery along the way.
Takeaway: Family drama may feel overwhelming, but it’s often in the most difficult situations that the truth comes out—and sometimes, that truth brings people closer together.
The holidays are rarely perfect, and neither are family gatherings. There will be arguments, misunderstandings, and moments where you’ll wonder why you even bother. But as these films show, it’s in those imperfect moments that we find meaning. Whether it’s reconnecting with estranged family members, forming unlikely friendships, or navigating emotional landmines, these experiences are what make the holidays truly memorable.
So, when your family gets on your nerves this season, take a deep breath and remember: It’s all part of the journey. The chaos, the awkwardness, and even the arguments—those are the things that make us human. And, in the end, the connections we forge (however messy) are what the holidays are all about.
Happy Holidays (and good luck),
Jonathan Austin
